Author Archives: Patrick Newson

A Mad as Hell Op-Ed Piece: The Super Dilemma

Hey all been away for awhile doing what I do…in a world in which I do it. With a plethora of Super movies on the way, it leaves me wondering is it too much???  Within the next two years the major names in comic book super heroes will be fighting it out in the superplex. Captain America, Thor, Xmen: First Class, Green Lantern, Batman, Spider-Man,The Avengers, and Wolverine.  A year ago the word on the street was that the superhero franchise was slowing down.  Making way for movies filled with realism and depth. That most certainly does not seem the case. Read the rest of this entry

Inception

Ahhhhh there it is.  What?? Oh hello I was just expressing a sigh of relief for a movie that makes you utilize your brain. Inception in a word….Amazing. Christopher Nolan the man who revitalized the Bat and brought us Memento, and Insomnia is back and screwing with your brain. I can only imagine the joy I’m gonna have seeing this again, and oh yes kids I will be seeing it again. Take one part James Bond,one part Italian Job, add Linklater’s Waking Life, and shake it up. Take what you get and throw it on to that MC Escher painting and you have Inception. Read the rest of this entry

What is a Good Summer??? (A Mad As Hell Op-Ed Piece)

I’ve been hearing a ton about how this summer sucks. The movies aren’t where they should be, there isn’t a clear Oscar pick yet. My question is it’s been what two months or so since the Oscars???? What do you want? We have months to get that stuff together. Give them a chance. I keep hearing How to Train a Dragon will get the Coraline spot.  However other than that where are we??? We aren’t even 12 days into June is where we are.  Yeah MacGruber sucked…I knew it would. Read the rest of this entry

Devil’s Challenge: Independence Day 2 and 3

Many years ago the aliens attacked Earth. We thought it was looking bad for us, but we pulled it out in the end. We kicked their alien asses with the help of Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum, Randy Quaid, and the amazing leadership skills of Bill Pullman. That movie was Independence Day. The movie sites have been tipped off that 20 million dollar Will Smith is locked in for 2 more Independence Day films. What they could possibly be about is anyone’s guess.

At the end of the last film (spoiler alert) they blew up the aliens. After a rousing speech bringing the world together, they kicked some alien ass. So what’s next?? I would like to submit the following challenge: Write your own small synopsis of what you think the movie will feature. We’ll call it The Devil’s Challenge. This can be funny or serious. It’s your pitch throw it in the comments section and we’ll pick the best one and feature it on the site. The contest will go for 7 days from the posting date. So check back and see if you’ve won.

Offer made to Captain America (A Mad As Hell Op-Ed Piece)

In a quick follow up to Mike’s earlier post, the offer has been made to the actor who will be Cap in the Capt. America film and The Avengers. Who is it you ask?? Well my condolences to those who wanted Jim from The Office, sorry it’s just not to be. The other report about Ryan Phillipe….Ehhhhhhh sorry. No the title role is offered to none other than Johnny Storm himself, Chris Evans (says The Hollywood Reporter). Yayyyyyyyyyyy. No? Ok I’m not too sure either. I don’t hate the pick, lets just get that out there. Evans doesn’t scream Cap to me. He barely survived as a member of The Fantastic Four. A movie, FYI, that I hated…both of them.

I’m eager to hear what you all think. I’m a huge Cap fan and the last thing I want is another Wolverine to put me to sleep. Fan boys…and girls sound off!!!

Cop Out

When I was a junior in high school I worked for a video store. Little did I know I was in training to do the glorious job of criticizing films for Devil’s Advocates. We were allowed free rentals and use of the preview copy rack. These were the screener studios sent us so that we would buy copies and rent out their movie. One day I find a weird titles movie called Clerks. It was vulgar, funny, and in black and white. Two slacker clerks and their adventures when one wasn’t even supposed to be there that day. That began my love of Kevin Smith films. Naturally I wanted to see Cop Out, or as it was originally titled Couple of Dicks. While his style has remained the same over the years Smith has become wiser about what sells. That being said onto the movie. Read the rest of this entry

Arthur Returns: All Hail The Drunken Hero

One of my favorite movies when I was younger was Arthur starring Dudley Moore. Arthur was a boozing playboy, who takes absolutely nothing serious. He then meets a working class woman, (played by Liza Minelli) and falls in love. His family threatens to cut him off if he marries her, and in the end love conquers all. Read the rest of this entry

Actor Spotlight: The Devil’s Advocate (Not the famous movie review site, but rather the film)

Al Pacino is an actors actor. To every part he brings that special something to make his role an instant classic. From a softly spoken line to the occasional hoo wah he gets the job done. Sometime it makes me wonder if he can make a bad movie. The Devil’s Advocate had the makings of a potential disaster. Keanu Reeves crappy southern accent is enough to bring the ship down. However thanks to the genius of an Al Pacino that does not happen. Enough of my acting man crush lets talk about the movie. Read the rest of this entry

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Terry Gilliam never disappoints me. I know that when I see his film it will be like nothing I’ve ever seen before. At the age of 10 I found Time Bandits and I was hooked.  The Imaginarium… was an artistic wonder. Once again I’m torn with the Avatar problem.  Visually I found the film to be a work of art; however the plot a little muddled.  It seems to me it’s a movie best set for The Music Box, and not the Cineplex. That’s not to say I didn’t dig it. I don’t think the average movie viewer will. Read the rest of this entry

Devil’s DVD Advocacy: Paranormal Activity

SHUT THAT DOOR!!!  Everyone knows ghosts cant open doors!!!

SHUT THAT DOOR!!! Everyone knows ghosts can't open doors!!!

SO there’s a film on TV presenting itself as the scariest horror movie out there. Meh. I saw it. Due to its limited release I went kind of far to see it, but I went. So????? Was it scary?? Yeah I jumped a few times. Scariest??? Not by a long shot. The movie follows really believable couple Katie and Micah. Katie seems to have a pesky ghost problem that follows her around. Micah determined to figure it out sets up a camera to try and catch a glimpse of whatever it is. It wasn’t like any of those ridiculous shows Ghost Hunters, Paranormal State etc. Not a bunch of idiots standing there going “what was that?” or “did you see that? The camera missed it but I saw a light over there. Stupid shows. Read the rest of this entry

Avatar and The Future: Why Special Effects Aren’t Enough (A Mad As Hell Op-Ed Piece)

This past couple of weeks has sparked an interesting debate. With the release of two holiday blockbusters (Avatar and Sherlock Holmes) the debate is all about substance vs. flash. This past Christmas eve I went to the midnight show of Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes with two friends. Now these guys aren’t what you would call movie aficionados. In fact to give you an idea one of my friend’s favorite movies is Fast and the Furious. I’m sure I just misunderstand the genius of a Paul Walker. Read the rest of this entry

Devil’s DVD Advocacy: The Hangover

The Hangover stars Bradley Cooper (Phil, a married teacher who hates his students), Ed Helms (Stu a dentist who has a harpy of a girlfriend that controls his every move), Justin Bartha (Doug the groom), and the always hysterical Zack Galifianakis (Alan the extremely weird and creepy brother of the bride).  Four actors, who up until now lived their careers as supporting actors; I found them all to be an excellent ensemble.  Ok down to it.  I enjoyed the hell out of this movie.  It took all the necessary components of a bachelor party movie (i.e. cool car, strippers, trashed hotel room, and we can’t find the groom and he’s getting married in ten minutes) and then made it an original.  It was pumped up by the fact that nobody can remember what happened the night before.  In my opinion the best film of this type since the classic Very Bad Things. Read the rest of this entry

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

There is nothing quite like seeing Twi-hards get a taste of what Star Wars fans deal with everyday. The Twilight Saga: New Moon was a lame attempt for a series that has a lot to live up to. Not that the first one was good, I found it awkward to watch. However with all the hype you gotta wonder, where and when do the makers of these films realize that subpar won’t do? Read the rest of this entry

Pirate Radio

So this will be short and sweet. With Oscar season approaching with lightning speed, people gotta lighten up. Every movie is not gonna be a contender, it just isn’t.  This movie will not be at the Oscars, however it is just plain fun. Pirate Radio brings us back to a time when rock and roll was outlawed. Read the rest of this entry

Disney’s A Christmas Story (Devil’s Advocate Review)

Ahh it’s that time of year again. The time of year when it gets cold, and movies come out about it being cold. Here’s the thing about A Christmas Carol…I love Charles Dickens. He showed the world how cold and cruel Victorian England was. The poverty, filth and despair. I’m just not sure it was ever meant to be animated. Read the rest of this entry

Inferno Cage Match: Freddy Krueger Vs. Edward Scissorhands

 Inferno Cage Match 8

In this corner we have one sick dude. So sick he was burnt alive by people who hated him. He took Michael Jackson’s style and said “ok that’s cool, but what if I wanna cut $#^%.”  In the Black fedora, knifey glove, and bad skin we have…Freddy Krueger!!!

In this corner a man of many parts…Literally. Upping Freddy by one hand.  Black hair, pale complexion, and no possible way of masturbating.  We have Edward Scissorhands!!!!!!!!!

 

Paranormal Activity

SHUT THAT DOOR!!!  Everyone knows ghosts cant open doors!!!

SHUT THAT DOOR!!! Everyone knows ghosts can't open doors!!!

SO there’s a film on TV presenting itself as the scariest horror movie out there.  Meh. I saw it.  Due to its limited release I went kind of far to see it, but I went. So?????  Was it scary??  Yeah I jumped a few times.  Scariest??? Not by a long shot. The movie follows really believable couple Katie and Micah. Katie seems to have a pesky ghost problem that follows her around. Micah determined to figure it out sets up a camera to try and catch a glimpse of whatever it is.  It wasn’t like any of those ridiculous shows Ghost Hunters, Paranormal State etc.  Not a bunch of idiots standing there going “what was that?” or “did you see that?  The camera missed it but I saw a light over there.  Stupid shows. Read the rest of this entry

Director Spotlight: Psycho

Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho redefined the phrase “mama’s boy.”  The story goes:  a woman is on the run, with stolen funds, so she decides to stop at a hotel. What could go wrong, right?  There she meets Norman Bates, a lonely hotel keeper with a thing for taxidermy.  Then, while in drag, he murders her viciously in a shower scene that would be imitated for years to come. We listen to that orchestra music as the Hershey’s chocolate syrup swirls down the drain. That’s really about it. The subplot of this movie when her sister and boyfriend come looking for her never really did it for me. Read the rest of this entry

C-5 Ahh You Sank My Respect For Hollywood (A Mad As Hell Op-Ed Piece)

Read the rest of this entry

The Bride vs. Abigail Whistler (Hell Hath No Fury)

Inferno Cage Match 3

In this corner covered in blood from vanquishing the enemies that wronged her.  She’s deadly with her bare hands and a Hanso sword.  Give it up (cuz if you don’t you’ll go on her list) for The Bride!!!!!!

Read the rest of this entry

The Men Who Stare at Goats

There was DARPA who experimented on soldiers with LSD and now there’s ARPA who scrutinize peoples gates and perform mind control experiments on people. All government funded. It’s all true they just don’t talk about it….Well i’m not sure where this new George Clooney movie lands but it sure looks funny. George and a myriad of other stars act as the new generation of psychic soldiers, alongside reporter Ewan McGregor. Check it out:

Inferno Cage Match: Morpheus Vs. Obi Wan Kenobi

cage match 2

In this corner wearing a long black trench coat and glasses that stay on his face somehow. Captain of The Nebba…Nebbaaakannez…a really cool ship. He believes that his guy Neo will bring order to the Matrix and save the humans. He’s quick with his feet, his fists, and especially his guns. Give it up for Morpheus!!!!!

In this corner he’s pretty old, but don’t let that fool you. Wearing a long brown cloak and wielding a lightsaber, and the force. He believes his guy Luke will bring order to the galaxy. Watch out or he’ll chop your freaking hand off in a bar.  Let’s hear it for OBI WAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Disney buys Marvel….Great Just Great (A Mad As Hell Op-Ed Piece)


So today in the news I read that The House of Mouse now owns some super heroes. Read the rest of this entry

Taking Woodstock


The story revolves around a young Jewish American named Elliot Teichberg played by Demetri Martin.  Martin was showing that he’s not just a comedian… he has levels.  He has taken on the responsibility of helping his elderly parents.  Two old people, from another generation,who depend too much on their son, who just wants to live his life. When faced with foreclosure of their Catskills resort, he opts for a last ditch effort. Those who only know of Woodstock don’t know that it didn’t really happen in Woodstock. They were thrown out on their Hippy asses, and the whole thing almost never happened.  Elliot saw this as a way to make money and bring in business, and since he already had himself a permit, why not. Read the rest of this entry

Inferno Cage Match: Maximus vs. William Wallace

Maximus vs. William Wallace

DA Inferno Cage Match

Read the rest of this entry

Director Spotlight: Gosford Park

 

Set in the 1930’s, Gosford Park is just like one of those movies that were on PBS on Sunday afternoons. It would be introduced by some guy in a smoking jacket, with a pipe.  Murder, intrigue, and snooty British accents would soon follow. The thing about Gosford Park that is amazing is it takes that genre, and shows us what the cameras didn’t catch. Read the rest of this entry

Weekend Box Office (What did and what didn’t)

WEEKEND TOP 10 STUDIO ESTIMATES, August 21 – 23, 2009.

1 Inglorious Basterds $37.6 M
2 District 9 $18.9 M
3 G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra $12.5 M
4 The Time Traveler’s Wife $10.0 M
5 Julie & Julia $9.0 M
6 Shorts $6.6 M
7 G-Force $4.2 M
8 Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince $3.5 M
9 The Ugly Truth $2.8 M
10 Post Grad $2.8 M

All in all not a bad week. A combined 105.1 million and who knows how much in popcorn. In fact I think 105.1 million is the price of a large popcorn nowadays.

Inglourious Basterds (Might just be the best Tarantino yet)

IB as I will call it (cuz my spell check isn’t going to let the actual spelling fly)is, in my opinion, the best Tarantino film yet. I may even think it’s the best Brad Pitt film yet. I’m being as subtle as “The Bear Jew’s” bat up against a Nazi scalp I know. I freaking loved this film. Many years ago when I was all of 16 I found a movie called Reservoir Dogs. My friends and I loved it and from that day I became a disciple of the Q. Pulp Fiction all the way to Kill Bill 1 & 2. Sure there have been some misses but I’ve stayed true. IB knocks it all out of the water.

Read the rest of this entry

Saw 6??? When Is Enough…..5 Sequels Too Many! (A Mad As Hell Op-Ed Piece)

So little known fact about me….I love horror movies. I do I’m a big fan of the genre.  What isn’t a little known fact about me….I have a low tolerance for stupid crap.  Let alone stupid crap that costs ten bucks to see. So imagine my surprise when I saw a poster for Saw 6. I understand that people still go to see these things, but who is making them?

Read the rest of this entry

It’s My Fault The Blair Witch Has Come Back (A Mad As Hell Op-Ed Piece)

So there I was making fun of my friend Bernie’s ridiculous looking beard. I said that he looked like an independent film director. I also said all he need is a baseball hat, and at Halloween he can go as the guy who made The Blair Witch Project. He then asked me to repeat it because he didn’t hear me. Then he said it. Looking over on Latino Film Review I see that the makers of the original (not the sucky Book of Shadows or whatever) are making a true sequel.

Read the rest of this entry