To Remake or not To Remake? What is the point? (A Mad As Hell Op-Ed Piece)
So I think Hollywood may have just given up. What???? You say. It’s true. Not a day goes by that as I look through the movie web sites that I enjoy news of some ridiculous remake. Could it be that every good idea has been done?? The art of movie and film peaked in the late 80’s and early to late 90’s? Really? I grew up in the aforementioned period of time, and I’ll tell you we can do better. The list of movies being remade grows by the day. I’ll give you my favorites:
Short Circuit– You remember the hilarious escapades of Johnny 5 and Steve Guttenberg? Well the makers of Robot Chicken are currently writing a script which brings Johnny 5 into the 21st Century. Big Deal!! Back when Short Circuit came out we were still amazed that you could cook popcorn in a microwave. We have robots that can perform heart surgery now. Hell, my ATM has more personality than Johnny 5.
Red Dawn– This one is about a group of kids; who have to fight off the Red Army. You remember “WOLVERINES??!!?!” Well my question is who are they gonna fight now? Who’s the enemy? Is this something Hollywood should be wasting its time on?
Total Recall– ( In bad Schwarzenegger voice) “Give these people some air” What was this even about. I know it’s a cult classic and people like its camp, but come on! The only thing I remember about this movie is a woman with three boobs, and Arnold’s head almost exploded. Give me four boobs and actually explode his head, and I’ll consider seeing it.
My point folks, is what happened to the new ideas? The Lebowski’s , Donnie Darko’s, and Pulp Fictions are not sitcom ideas you can rehash. “Uh oh I have a date with two girls.” (Scummy neighbor) “Just take them to the same restaurant and you can have dinner with both.” Wait for hilarity to ensue. These movies are indicative of their time. A movie like Pump up the Volume can only work in the time it was made. Are kid’s problems close to the same? Yes of course but the methods are different. Please stop ruining the movies that made me like movies. Most of all please stop trying to bring back the crap I didn’t like the first time around.