To Remake or not To Remake? What is the point? (A Mad As Hell Op-Ed Piece)

So I think Hollywood may have just given up. What???? You say. It’s true. Not a day goes by that as I look through the movie web sites that I enjoy news of some ridiculous remake. Could it be that every good idea has been done?? The art of movie and film peaked in the late 80’s and early to late 90’s? Really?  I grew up in the aforementioned period of time, and I’ll tell you we can do better. The list of movies being remade grows by the day. I’ll give you my favorites:

Short Circuit– You remember the hilarious escapades of Johnny 5 and Steve Guttenberg? Well the makers of Robot Chicken are currently writing a script which brings Johnny 5 into the 21st Century. Big Deal!! Back when Short Circuit came out we were still amazed that you could cook popcorn in a microwave. We have robots that can perform heart surgery now. Hell, my ATM has more personality than Johnny 5.

Red Dawn– This one is about a group of kids; who have to fight off the Red Army. You remember “WOLVERINES??!!?!” Well my question is who are they gonna fight now?  Who’s the enemy?  Is this something Hollywood should be wasting its time on?

Total Recall– ( In bad Schwarzenegger voice) “Give these people some air” What was this even about. I know it’s a cult classic and people like its camp, but come on! The only thing I remember about this movie is a woman with three boobs, and Arnold’s head almost exploded. Give me four boobs and actually explode his head, and I’ll consider seeing it.

My point folks, is what happened to the new ideas? The Lebowski’s , Donnie Darko’s, and Pulp Fictions are not sitcom ideas you can rehash. “Uh oh I have a date with two girls.” (Scummy neighbor) “Just take them to the same restaurant and you can have dinner with both.” Wait for hilarity to ensue. These movies are indicative of their time.  A movie like Pump up the Volume can only work in the time it was made.  Are kid’s problems close to the same? Yes of course but the methods are different. Please stop ruining the movies that made me like movies. Most of all please stop trying to bring back the crap I didn’t like the first time around.


Posted on June 9, 2009, in Mad As Hell Op-Ed and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Mike Pampinella

    I agree that Hollywood is bereft of ideas. I did after all watch Land of The Lost this weekend. But, there has to be some ideas worth revisiting, right?

  2. Patrick Newson

    I think in due time but remaking because you don’t have a better idea isn’t right

  3. Hollywood is ridiculous at this point with the remakes. Let The Right One In is already being remade. I heard the Bad Lieutanent is being redone.

  4. Mike Pampinella

    I agree some films should never be remade. Oldboy for instance. Why must it be remade? Re-release it in the U.S. with more hype and PR.

    I do kind of want to see the Footloose remake, though. That was a fun film that would attract a large audience if it were just updated.

    And honestly why not remake Red Dawn? Personally, I’d do the film and call it something else, but in our current climate a film like Red Dawn would do very well.

  5. Mike Pampinella

    Therein lies the problem. Red Dawn was about the communist threat hitting us at home. The communist threat is…well less of a threat now. They’d have to put a different spin on the title and make it about a fictitious country in the Middle East or a Taliban like regime that has pooled their resources and invaded.

    • Whoa hoa can’t wait for the press on that. USA make ANOTHER movie about terrorist threat. I can be sponsored by FOX news. My vote is the Swiss have had it and don’t want to be neutral anymore.

  6. Mike Pampinella

    No matter how you spin it though, somebody is the bad guy. The only way to not tick off any one race is make it the Martians (Red Planet, Red Dawn?).

    In this climate why not use the actual bad guys. There are Taliban supported terrorist cells operating in the U.S. It wouldn’t be that big of a stretch if the film depicted those cells gradually taking over.

  7. Mike Pampinella

    Has anyone seen the still shot in EW of Sam Worthington in the Clash of The Titans remake? I love the original, but I would be interested to see an update.

    • Patrick Newson

      Yeah that looks good. Clash was one of those movies I didn’t mention because the advances in technology might make it better. Whereas something like Short Circuit doesn’t make sense.

  8. So I watched the remake of “Friday the 13th” yesterday with the wife.
    Just not the same. It felt like they tried to hard to give you that 80’s horror flick feel with a splash of modern day and just feel flat with it.

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